Is it weird to come by myself?

by Bella T

Lovely Fate member Bella reflects on her anxiety about whether or not to come her first play party all by herself

While some people come to play parties with their significant other, and some people come with a friend, plenty of people also come along by themselves… especially their first time, when they haven’t yet had a chance to meet other like-minded people.

I know this because that was the case for me, the first time I came to a play party! I had always been interested in kink, and curious about play parties. But none of my ex-boyfriends had been interested in checking one out with me, and all of my LA friends at the time were… well, perhaps not as adventurous as me. And so it was that I found myself coming along to my first play party all by myself (you can read all about that here).

Yes, I was a little nervous as I arrived… because it was just such an unknown, and I had nobody’s arm to cling onto. But I was also excited. I felt like maybe, just maybe, this event would be full of amazing, wonderful, fun & open-minded people that would be like my lost tribe that I had been searching for all these years.

In the end, the experience couldn’t have turned out any better. The “greeter” team at my first event were fantastic. They saw that I was new, they welcomed me, they chatted with me, they showed me around. They introduced me to some members that they thought I would vibe with, as well as some other new people - saving me from my lifelong anxiety around making the first move to introduce myself to people.

And low and behold, it worked. I actually made friends at that first event. Wonderful, fun, amazing people - some of whom are now among my best friends in the world. And now when I go to play parties, it doesn’t matter whether I arrive with a date or by myself - because I know that the place will be full of lovely, smiling, welcoming faces.

Thinking about coming to an event , and not sure whether it’s weird to come by yourself? We were all there at one point or another… it will be fine and you’ll love it. Just do it already :)